It Is What It Is, It Is What You Make It.

A theme that keeps cropping up for me is, "It is what it is, it is what you make it." A girl I met on my orientation liked that line a lot, and considered it her mantra, I suppose.

We had a group of 60 older women here last week. They were an interesting bunch. The kissy, tree-hugger types. "Druids" some of them called themselves. They weren't Catholic- in fact, some of them hid their Bibles in their closets, not being able to suffer its presence. Each of them seemed to be a different kind of quirky, but the one thing they all had in common was that they wanted coffee at 4 in the morning. I was willing to compromise with the hour, and at 5 o'clock the other day, I began making pots of coffee. By 8:30 I had easily made 18 pots and restocked the creamer 6 times.They consumed about as fast as I produced.

It is what it is.

Some days I'm going to be here sweeping, doing dishes, directing parking lot traffic, re-filling ketchup bottles, and making enough coffee to fill a swimming pool. I sometimes feel like it's a waste of my talents and that it snuffs out the excitement and energy I have for projects that right now only exist in theory, but... it is what it is. It has to be done.

It's a lot harder to do all things for the greater glory of God than I imagined. The monotony of making coffee... I suppose someone with more discipline could turn it into a prayerful meditation, or an exercise in thanksgiving- "Lord, thank you for this healthy body, without which I may not be able to repeatedly pour cup after steaming cup of liquid caffeine and without which I would not be able to open and close, open and close, open and close the necessary cabinets that house the creamer and sugar packets." Right now, though, all I have workin' for me is obedience. I do it because I am told to do it. In that way, I suppose, I am loving God.

I sometimes struggle to find love and joy in my day-to-day activities, but the possibility of deepening my relationship with God keeps me going. In these somewhat boring, monotonous, and menial tasks,  I am being given a unique opportunity to grow in patience, humility, gentleness, and positivity. I yearn constantly for the ability to find God in all things. If, by the end of the year, I can feel love radiating from that coffee pot I so fervently avoid, I will consider my time here a great success.

I thank God for Colleen very often. She seems to possess a lot of those attitudes that I hope to adopt. She is a lot better at saying and doing only those things that bring her joy- that are life giving. When Colleen and I have a long day and I think we're both about to go blow off some steam by running our mouths, she proves me wrong. I end up pouring out my frustrations and incredulities as she listens. And then I feel bad for having made her struggles with serenity even harder. I can tell she shares similar worries, but she prefers to concentrate only on the good. The possibility of growth that each struggle affords us. The greater purpose of our challenges.

I am trying to be more like that. I already feel that I have had a small amount of success, but I cannot settle for where I am now. Sr. Grace once said to me, "God loves us just the way we are, but because He loves us, He will not allow us to stay the way we are." I think of those words often. May Colleen and I and all of you pray for the Grace to find God where our hearts, minds, and bodies struggle the most to find and take comfort in HIM.

Blessings,
Gina

Psalm 28:7
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.